THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD

The hardest thing in the world is being a mom, of course. Well, for me, it is. Sometimes. Most of the time. Who am I kidding?  This stuff is hard!

I am always going back and forth between, "I got this", to "I have no idea what is going on".

Besides the mom thing, the hardest thing in the world, to me, on this Monday, was getting started on painting the fur on my buffalo. Should I call it fur or hair?

Before I even picked up my brush this afternoon, hours after I had hoped I would get started, (exhausted from dentist appointments for my small army of children I birthed...and this is what I will blame for my procrastination), I was worried this buffalo would not turn out as good as my previous buffalos. Silly, I know, but I was still worried. I always want to be better than the last time. I always want to strive to paint the best painting ever. Sometimes I succeed, hitting it far out of the ballpark which makes the next painting have that much more pressure to measure up, or better yet, surpass all of my expectations.

So after much thought on which colors to mix I started out on his face. Upon finishing the 2nd layer I was struck with panic because it was not turning out as beautiful and amazing as I wanted it to be. I still had to paint the rest of the huge, stinkin', buffalo too. Oh, I was so discouraged! I was filled with the sort of gut wrenching anxiety one feels after breaking up with the love of one's life. I was "stress paralyzed".This is a great term I got from Mom's Night Out (funny movie), which describes how I feel quite often.

Okay, before this keeps going on and on with horrible punctuation and grammar, I fought through my fears and kept painting, and painting, and trying different brushes and brush strokes until he started coming together in a more lovely way.

That is what I do everyday as a mom too!  Imagine that! If my day is going badly and I feel like I can't deal with one more parenting situation I just push through with boldness, and patience, and most of all love until everything is back into some kind of livable and lovable state of being.

Here's to all the moms out there, staying up late with kids who are struggling with math, driving kids to band practice at zero-dark-thirty and making sure every child brushes their teeth everyday while pursuing all of their wildest dreams. Keep painting, fighting, working, and striving for all that you love and for all that you are.

The hardest things are always worth it.